Timpview Relays

          Yesterday, about 3 hours before the Timpview Relays track meet started, I found out I was running in it. Usually this wouldn't be too much of a problem - I've actually started to like track meets this year! Except there is a problem - in the past 20 days I had run maybe 5 or 6 times, and now my coach was wanting to put me with 3 of the fastest girls on the team!
          I was going to turn it down of course. I hadn't really run in the heat, I was drop dead tired from choir tour (that was an exciting adventure that I will hopefully be writing about sometime soon!!), I was pretty dehydrated, and my homework was piled up above my head. But when he told me that if I didn't run then 3 of my teammates couldn't....well, I found myself agreeing somehow.
           Luckily I worked it out to get there a little later - in other words, I drove myself to the meet. My mom helped me look it up on Google Maps, and I quickly wrote down directions as I ran out the door. Thank goodness for Google Maps! I don't know if I would be able to find my way anywhere without it! As I was driving, sometimes I didn't know where to turn. I guess I am pretty unsure of myself sometimes, always second guessing which street I am really supposed to turn on. After many prayers and a few U-turns, I found my way to the track. I know there were definitely some little miracles helping me!
          I barely showed up on time to run to the bathroom, somewhat warm up, then get myself to the bullpen. When I looked over to the stands, I saw my Grandma standing there, ready to cheer me on :) It definitely made my day; even though I felt like I was going to fall over part way through the race, it was nice to know I had someone there who was ready to cheer me on.
          It reminded me of another race, the Bulldog Invite during the cross country season, where I also felt like I was going to fall over from exhaustion. Somehow, I found myself near the front of the JV pack, running shoulder to shoulder with my teammates in the falling rain. I won that race. Still not sure how that ever happened, but I think the rain pumped me up, as well as all of my family cheering me on. My Grandma was especially great - she was all over the course, telling me I looked strong, that I needed to go faster, that I was doing great. I think she probably ran at least as much as I did!
          Although I didn't do anywhere near as well as I did at the Bulldog Invite, it turned out so much better than I ever could have imagined. I was only about 12 seconds off my best time - pretty much incredible considering how much running I have done recently!! I was pretty far off my teammates times, but my coach was just grateful that the others could race.
          I am so grateful that the Relays turned out better than I thought. It was still not an ideal afternoon, but I know I was blessed to help out my team.

Ancient.

Today I feel ancient.

Not the achy or painful kind of ancient, just the unbelievably old sort of thing.

Lately I keep getting all of these thoughts like "I am WAY to young to be doing something like this!" or "this isn't supposed to be happening for a few more years!"

Well, apparently not, because life just seems to be whizzing by.

It is scary to think that a lot of my friends will be done with high school in the next two months. Some of them are going to college - they are finding their new housing, planning their schedules, and getting scholarships. Some of them could be on missions in less than six months! I know that they are older than me, but still, it definitely doesn't feel like they are THAT old, or that within the next year, I will be in the exact same position.

Not only do I feel old because of my other friends, but also just from stuff that is happening in my life. For example, last week I drove on the freeway 6 times without a parent - crazy! I feel like I have so much freedom, and so many new opportunities because of it.

Then today I went to the store to get a few last minute things for choir tour (we leave tomorrow!!!). That in and of itself was a little weird; going into Walmart without my Mom or a friend was a first. Not only did I buy the things I needed, but at the cash register, I price matched! Say what?! The guy at the cash register just went on as if everything were normal, but inside I was practically screaming "I'm old! I am so old! I shouldn't be doing this!" When I told my Mom she just laughed and told me I was a mom in training :)

I know this sounds like I don't really like growing up - I promise I do. I love the freedom and the responsibility and the opportunities that I have because of it. I guess it just kind of scares me that it is all going by so fast. Where are my high school years going? How can life pass so quickly? Sometimes I think I almost regret getting older, like I want to stay in high school forever. Recently though, I have come to realize that, well, that's the point of life. To grow, get bigger, get more opportunities, serve more people, and leave my little mark on the world. I can't do that if I am always looking back or am so focused on what happened in the past that I can't live the present to the fullest.

I want to look back on my life and enjoy the memories that I have, but I don't want to be so stuck there that I can't keep moving forward.

This week I have also realized that life is a fragile thing, more delicate than I had ever really thought it could be. There is not a guarantee on how long I'll live, or how much time I'll have with my family members. I hope that I can treat my life as something important, to be handled with care, and not something to just be wasted or passed through. This is my life, and I am going to be who I am meant to be.

It's a Good Day :)

Today is one of those days where you can't help but smiling and humming while you're in the middle of it.

You know when you've had a wish for a long time, and it finally comes true?

Yes, it's a good day to be alive :)